Welcome
Give Yourself Permission
Have you ever worried about what might go wrong? Maybe it’s presenting a work project, texting a love interest first, guesting on a podcast (ahh! been there done that), or for me currently… sending my first Substack Newsletter.
I’ve been marketing. And marketing. And marketing. And haven’t sent that first email.
For two reasons…
I needed to get other systems in place first.
When you build a house you don’t put the roof on first. You build the frame, then the walls, then the door goes up, and so on.
As a creative entrepreneur, I get excited about a lot of ideas and have a tendency to take action on all of them at once. But just like building a house, it’s not feasible to put the roof on if you don't first build the foundation and the walls.
I needed time to set up other business procedures and systems before the newsletter launch. As a solo business owner, I wear all the hats: Therapist, Social Media Manager, Bookkeeper, Copywriter, Graphic Designer, Website Developer, etc. Without systems to hold the structure, the house falls down.
Some of you have reached out asking when to expect the first email or where to find my writing. I appreciate your patience and your excitement fuels my motivation as I have also been looking forward to sharing content here. I’m quick to be kind to others when they need time to process, rest, or to get their ducks in a row, so not only am I working on extending that same compassion to myself, but hope you will give me that same grace too.
From the comments on Instagram and TikTok, I realized people are craving more. More tips, more content, more information. This newsletter will allow me to go more in depth, dare I say, give you more to chew on, from my viral mental health videos.
Part of the systems I’ve set up for this newsletter include a paywall. Because what I’ve learned about giving is that giving without receiving is a lack of self-care and a lack of healthy boundaries. It’s healthy to give and want to also receive. So the content shared here will be both free, and for those who’d like to digest more, I’ll be giving additional content behind a paywall. This way, my capacity to say yes in sharing more mental health and wellness tips can come in the form of excitement rather than resentment when I’m able to fill my cup up first. But don’t worry, there will be the occasional long form (or maybe short form) tips (like this email) or recipes / restaurant finds (gotta keep the food in food for thought!) in my free emails too!
I kept waiting until it felt right. Until I had enough articles pre-written. Until I had reread a draft enough times. Until all of it just felt like enough.
My perfectionism got in the way. So… let’s talk about it. The root of perfectionism is really just the desire to be accepted. And when people get stuck here, they end up betraying themselves in an effort to be accepted.
What’s the antidote? Showing up exactly as you are. Knowing that, who you are, right now, in this season, is enough.
For example:
If you’re a dancer and you trip, let go of always needing to be graceful.
If you’re an athlete and you lose a game, let go of always needing to outperform yourself.
If you’re a therapist, like myself, or a helper in any field, and don’t know the answer, let go of always needing to know how to handle every situation.
As a therapist, I see perfectionism a lot in my practice with clients. Maybe perfectionism was the way you learned how to protect yourself. Maybe it was the shield you learned how to build around yourself in order to survive your toughest moments. But maybe, it’s no longer serving you the same purpose anymore.
When it feels like it’s not safe to be anything but perfect, maybe tell that part of you, it’s okay to mess up. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s safe to embrace trial and error. It’s safe to play. It’s safe to not know what to do and to figure it out along the way. It’s safe now to make mistakes. It’s safe now to not be perfect. Because that might’ve been an unrealistic expectation you had from yourself. You’re capable as you continue learning. It’s okay to not have full control.
Nobody is immune to mistakes. As I launch my Food For Thought Substack Newsletter, I plan to give myself permission to know that I don’t necessarily need to have it all figured out. I just need to put one foot in front of the other. And I hope the permission I give myself encourages you to give yourself and others the same grace.
From this newsletter you can expect deeper thoughts on my viral bite-sized tips from Instagram and TikTok, occasional recipes and restaurant recommendations, and a community of people who strive for good boundaries and good food to fill their cup in life.
I can’t wait to share more (food for) thoughts with you!
I’ll see you in your inbox tomorrow with the first newsletter. I’m talking all about anger, boundaries, and how to not feel resentful in relationships.
Want more Thoughts on Perfectionism?
Listen to my 11 minute podcast episode “Ep. 27 - Embracing Imperfection: Liberating Yourself From Perfectionism” on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your shows.